Constant Battle

I promised someone I’d write this today, so here it is and you know who you are!  Weight!!! Where do I begin with this one….I have struggled with my weight most of my life.  I have tried every ‘diet’ going, as most people who struggle with weight issues have.  I have lost the weight a few times and have felt brilliant, but then somehow it creeps back up and I’m back to square one plus some!

There is nothing worse than going into a dressing room and realising whatever you brought in to try on doesn’t fit.  Honestly, it’s the worst feeling in the world.  Usually when this happens to me, I berate myself for not knowing it wouldn’t fit in the first place, followed by anger and then a vow to start a diet immediately.  Whether the diet lasts a day, a week or a month totally depends of the frame of mind that I’m in at the time – I have to be in the ‘zone’.

When I broke my leg my biggest dread, apart from being wheeled into the wall again, was that I would pile on the pounds.  I was terrified, and so became very conscious about what I was eating and how much.  Don’t get me wrong, I had treats especially when visitors came bearing chocolates or doughnuts – which I thoroughly enjoyed, but for the most part I was careful.  It was hard enough hopping around on those crutches besides adding on more pounds.  And to be fair to myself I actually lost some weight, they tell me pain and stress does that to a person.

The first couple of weeks back at work saw my ankle turn into not a ‘kankle’ but as I’ve been calling it an elekankle!! I swear to God ,the size of it resembled an elephants ankle/leg…I have been going to slimming classes for as long as I remember, and so I hobbled in along to my class with my elekankle.  I managed to get onto the scales and I was up.  I told the class leader “sure no wonder I’m up, look at the size of my leg”. Ha, yes I blamed it on the ankle!  Sometimes it is genuinely disappointing if I stay the same or put up weight knowing I’ve put in a good effort.  I once told her the scales was wrong and insisted she weigh me again – it was the same as the first time. I was fuming!

We lose weight, we gain weight.  It is a constant battle.  And I find it wearisome watching what I eat all of the time.  Now Christmas is very near and there’s a choice to be made – wait until the new year and using this famous line ‘start again’ or start right now (as I munch a chocolate!!)….decisions..  By the way I have an awful sweet tooth so if I had to chose between my dinner and something sweet, I’d go for something sweet everytime and there lies my problem.

So when my friend and I were talking about this today, we both decided we should look in the mirror and ask ourselves what do we really want today….And we both agreed – to be 4 stone lighter!!! 😉  It is a constant battle!!



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