I had some very interesting conversations over the last week or so about what to do when you find out people have been talking about you behind your back and saying things that err on the bitchy/insulting side. I like to think I get on with everybody as best I can but I’m not naive enough to think that everybody likes everybody all of the time, we all have different personalities and it is normal that we will clash with people from time to time. I do know, though, I would be very hurt if I heard that people were talking about me in a bitchy or insulting manner.
I asked a few people what would they do or how would they handle things if they found themselves in such a situation. The majority of them have said ‘take them on’ – ask them why they are saying these things, what are they basing their assumptions on and then to ‘take a hike’. At least then you’ll know where you stand with those people and can move on. The problem is wouldn’t you already have a fair idea where you stand with them when you hear what they have been saying about you, would you really need to have them reinforce their insults to your face?
I was at my reflexology/reiki appointment this evening and this conversation cropped up again with the girl giving me my treatment. She is also a life coach and had a very different take on it. She told me if the person said it to her face then that would be the time to speak up and have a calm conversation about it. However, if a person said something behind her back and didn’t say it to her face then she wouldn’t do anything. The reason, she said, is that the problem lies with the other person – not her. It really doesn’t affect her because it’s the other person who has a problem and they haven’t had the volition to say it to her face. So why upset yourself by confronting them…
I liked her take on the topic as we would all love to jump in and confront the person. At one point in my life I would have been that person but now I think I’d prefer to either live in ignorant bliss or just let things lie. I agree with her that there is no point in worrying about what people say about us rather than to us, and that if there was an issue or a problem then it does lie with them.
Sometimes it’s hard to not let people see that they have hurt you, but isn’t it refreshing to know that you have power over your own life and with that comes the power to ignore these situations and carry on. In the words of Taylor Swift “the haters gonna hate” – let them have their hate – because we have the power to chose happiness and love, and that beats hate everytime!!