‘Just be yourself’. How many times have we heard these words? More times than we know I think. Maybe before an interview – just be yourself and they’ll definitely offer you the job or maybe before a date – just be yourself and they’ll definitely like you! Sometimes I find just being myself a little tricky because it can be difficult to pin down exactly who I am….
I’m a different person at home to the person I become at work, I’m a different person at work to the person I am when I’m with my friends, I’m a different person with my friends than I am with acquaintances and I’m a different person when I’m on my own. So you can see how it can be confusing when someone advises me to ‘just be yourself’! Which one?
I’m old enough to know which person to be when around different people, but sometimes I wonder – which one am I really? The work-me takes up most of my day, the home-me a smaller fraction of the day and the friend-me is there on request! I know at the core I’m the same person (and just the one person 😉 ), showing different shades of who I am to different people but I’d love to know which shade comes out the strongest…I’ve always been one to say ‘what you see is what you get’, but to be honest about it that could change from day to day or even hour to hour – depending on my mood and the weather!!
‘Just be yourself’ – what if you didn’t get the job or if the date didn’t like you….I know we all say ‘their loss’ but it has to affect how we feel about ourselves and renders another question – if they didn’t like me by being myself, do I change into someone that they might like? Do I ‘just be someone else’, someone that might get offered the job or get on well with a date?
I know from reflecting on who I am with different people that I certainly become a partial ‘someone else’ depending on who I’m with…Will anyone ever get to know the true person? I don’t think so. Do I know my true self? Not completely, I don’t think I ever will. I think that can be said for most of us.
So to whoever is reading this, the next time someone says to you or you hear the words ‘just be yourself’ I would ask you to do a couple of things. Pause and think about the person you are when with others, how you change or adapt your personality to suit certain situations and ask yourself: do you know who you really are? Is it possible to ‘just be yourself’?