So here I go again!! After the holidays this summer, I have avoided looking at most pictures of myself because I can’t bear to see the chins, stomachs etc. Before my trip to Turkey a couple of weeks ago, I joined a gym and swimming pool – the thinking being that when I got back I would get straight into a healthy exercise regime and I would try my best to lose the three stone that I have been carrying around for the last few years…
I mean three stone doesn’t sound like much does it – considering all the stories that I read telling how people have lost maybe nine stone, twelve stone and more. So with great intentions I paid the membership and then hit off on holidays. What a week, the food was exceptional – the drink was out of this world…I thoroughly enjoyed a free pass on all of it and then, home I came.
Depression sets in, glancing at photos that I don’t really want to acknowledge and the gnawing thoughts that I have to go use my gym membership, I have to get back to the fat fighters class and just suck it up. But if you have ever had a weight issue you know that there is a place in your mind called the ‘zone’ – and although I know I have to do certain things, eat certain foods and plan my meals – I just cannot get into the ‘zone’.
So what do I do? I’ve had this problem before where I can’t get into the right place mentally, or I get there for about a week or so….the ‘zone’ at the moment seems like a far off destination that I’m going to have to struggle to get to. I know what I need to do, what I have to eat and that I have to plan and be organized – but it’s like I need a good slap across the face to wake me up.
I have never been one of those people who got the ‘buzz’ out of exercising – to be honest I fecking hate it. I’ve often wondered what the rush is that people get out of running around the place, when all I’ve ever been able to muster up is a partially brisk walk…Don’t get me wrong, I understand the importance of exercise and that it does have benefits for body and mind – I’ve just never been able to experience this. I do go for walks frequently, usually first thing in the morning because I don’t have time to think about it. The longer I have to think about it – the more time I have to talk myself out of it.
I’ve been procrastinating all morning – looking at recipes and food plans, thinking about what time would suit me to go to the gym/swimming pool, what cooking I’ll do today and should I batch cook or just do one day at a time for the moment…all just little ways of putting off the inevitable!! I guess I can’t put it off forever – I’m just hoping if I push myself towards the ‘zone’ I will accidentally fall into it!!